getting angry

you know like, when you get angry over something stupid? like its just the wrong fucking time. a bad joke or something. i sit here and could get easily riled up about a ton of shit that pisses me off. and its uncontrollable. like an urge. a tic. like i just gotta get mad. i bottle up everything. thats my problem. i dont care enough about my life to make a difference. i figure things will get better when they are suppose to get better.
im sick of being around pills. pills. pillheads. everyone doing pills. why cant people grow up. they take anti anxiety/ pain meds to get fucked up. i was on lexapro for 2 years. i can honestly say, no one "wants" to be on pills. normal people, that is. people have to take these things to live their life. to get by. to survive. then you turn it around and abuse it. i guess thats drug abuse. but i see it differently than smoking weed or drinking or cocaine. none of those really do anyone any good, so if you use, you lose. hahahah isnt that what they say? and i guess im one to say.

im going to the ottobar tonight to see my bros band play, im so tired. hungry. exhausted. mad. sad. i have no energy to do anything at all.


fuck the world.