!! i am in love. with life. breathing and just living. This time last year was horrible. i can clearly recall last christmas and how much i wanted to die. how much i wanted to crash my car. crying driving too and from my moms. to and from my sisters. going with daniel to his grandmothers and just wanting to cry. last year at this time i was switching medications and was a total fucking basketcase. who is not to say im not a basketcase now. but still. i was so miserable. just crying. thats all i did was cry. i cant believe i survived really. but i did. merry christmas.
i dont want to dwell anymore and i kinda cant believe i just sat here and dwelled on last year christmas. i guess i feel so lucky im okay. im fine. im happy. i had a nice christmas. got some good presents, well mostly money. daniel got me the google phone. well we are going to get it tomorrow. so fucking fucking fucking excited. i really wanted that. its going to be real nice. daniel is a good gift giver! my bro got me a coffee maker which rules really hard cause im always begging him to make coffee since i didnt have one. so now i doooo and he got me some coffee too! so awesome. I need to start saving my money. like now. im gonna be more careful with what i spend my money on. i just have to.... im about to go fold some laudry, that will give me something to do then maybe i hang out. i hope mandi texts me later so i can go hang out with her that would be nice. then i work 7 to 4 tomorrow grrr... but off on saturday! so its really not that bad at all haha. (: looking forward to going to urban outfitters and getting pants with my christmas money. i need some!
so im going through some changes. trying to make some resolutions and stick to them. my eyes have been opened real wide the past couple of weeks, for no reason except being extremely busy and thinking and working and just living i guess. i want to change. i want to be different. and i think its possible and it shouldnt take too much work at all.
daniel is going out of town for 17 days, leaving on the 1st. its gonna be crazy having the apartment to myself and no one to hang out with. so i guess i figured while hes gone i could find people to hang out with and be more social. maybe if people dont hate me!!
well anyways, im gonna fold laudry now.
byeeeee
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I've already told you that if you'd like to come to my little game night, you're more than welcome to. Just because I'm a creep doesn't mean you can't socialize. Keep that in mind and have some fun!
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